Posts Tagged ‘work’

Detaching – moving forward a new life

12/03/2013

When I returned home from the boarding school I returned to a kind of prison. I was only allowed to hang out and drink alcohol on Friday and Saturday due to the home contract. My parents had stated that they would abandon me to the social services. In Denmark that means group homes being guarded by people with no basic training or unemployed people hired from low income jobs. They are almost always placed outside the larger cities. Here in the Northern part of Jutland they are placed north of Aalborg where there is no job to get besides being a foster parent or work in a group home. The local politicians don’t supervise the group homes because they are afraid of losing jobs. The alternative was a foster family. They are also not educated and only in the job for money. It seemed like a real and serious threat.

So I took on schooling in my local public school. First it was hard because I hadn’t been there regular for some years. Then it became too easy. My school is in the eastern part of Aalborg where there are students from many countries. The standard had to be low. Otherwise they would not have been able to keep up. However it held me back. It was frustrating. We discussed private school but as I have stated before my parents are from the working class and private schools in Denmark are either only for the rich people or for families where the parents want to shun the Danish society due to religious reasons. I remember a story about a Christian School down in Fredericia. There they had used corporal punishment despite the fact that it had been banned for decades in Denmark.

So I had to stick it out. I graduated with high grades with no special effort. For a while I felt like I had wasted not only my time at the boarding school which properly would mark me for life but also at the public school, because while I had shown my parents that I had turned my life around, I never had such a boring period of my life. My parents detached their relationship with me. It seems that if I minded my school and didn’t come home drunk beside Friday and Saturday, our relationship would settle with a quiet dinner and nothing more. We rarely had anything to talk about. I guess that they just were happy and on the move to another part in their lives. Detachment must be the right word for it. They had made their point for the last time. They were finished being parents.

However, a good thing entered my life at that point. Alcohol and other unhealthy food items got an increased tax put upon them during these years. I needed money to hang out with my friends and my parents would not finance anti-social behavior as some would call it. I started working because I had so much time left due to the limited school work. Together with some friends I started a paint shop where we worked as sub-contractors for larger firms painting rooms and walls. We didn’t pay taxes because when you are a sub-contractor to a sub-contractor or yet another sub-contractor, taxes and vat get lost in the system. It doesn’t matter if you have a cleaning job or other kind of manual job. At some point accountants service the firms to get sub-contractors hired hidden from the authorities.

The work has very much financed my time in school and while it has ended due to stricter regulation which I will write about later it had enlightened my life and enabled me to socialize with peers at school and made participation in school trips possible.

When my time in the public school was over I started in high school – In Danish called the Gymnasium. I am going to write something about that in the next chapter of my life.


My Experience At Mountain Homes Youth Ranch

This is about my life changing experience at the not so fun troubled youth camp, MHYR.

birthe1951

Birthe født i 1951 - om mit liv og mine holdninger

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.