Posts Tagged ‘boarding school’

I feel that I am a part of something

05/11/2014

As readers of this blog will know I had a rather bad experience at a boarding school some years ago. It was a period of my life which had a lasting impact.

Years later I was asked to create a blog covering 1,000 places where teenagers wouldn’t like to stay.

It is not rated, so it is not so that number one is worst. However one of the first places which were listed was Diamond Ranch Academy. Now the blog has reached more than 290 posts. I still remember the day we published the post about this boarding school. Back then the boarding school was run in a ranch-like setting. For a couple of years ago they changed the program focusing more on sport. They still have a barn with horses but if you use Google maps you can see that the football station is that the market the boarding school.

Does it mean that they have removed the abusive components which were the reason for them to appear on the blog? No because as late as last year a boy died at the boarding school.

Here in year 2014 they have started suing everyone who speaks out against them. At one point they will try to hit me. I am stating that I have no fear having them trying to take me out. It is not that funny to be a Dane in a time where the government is competing against my firm by ordering people of welfare benefits to do the same type of work I invoices people for. It is not fun to be forced to rebuild your home as Fort Knox because a large number of people from the Eastern part of Europe wait every night to break in making my life resampling the movie “The Purge”.

So I don’t fear the lawyers and other thugs Diamond Ranch Academy might send to Denmark to harass me.

Please try to take a hit at me and you will feel the consequences.

I am proud that I am a part of this work.

Advertisements

Detaching – moving forward a new life

12/03/2013

When I returned home from the boarding school I returned to a kind of prison. I was only allowed to hang out and drink alcohol on Friday and Saturday due to the home contract. My parents had stated that they would abandon me to the social services. In Denmark that means group homes being guarded by people with no basic training or unemployed people hired from low income jobs. They are almost always placed outside the larger cities. Here in the Northern part of Jutland they are placed north of Aalborg where there is no job to get besides being a foster parent or work in a group home. The local politicians don’t supervise the group homes because they are afraid of losing jobs. The alternative was a foster family. They are also not educated and only in the job for money. It seemed like a real and serious threat.

So I took on schooling in my local public school. First it was hard because I hadn’t been there regular for some years. Then it became too easy. My school is in the eastern part of Aalborg where there are students from many countries. The standard had to be low. Otherwise they would not have been able to keep up. However it held me back. It was frustrating. We discussed private school but as I have stated before my parents are from the working class and private schools in Denmark are either only for the rich people or for families where the parents want to shun the Danish society due to religious reasons. I remember a story about a Christian School down in Fredericia. There they had used corporal punishment despite the fact that it had been banned for decades in Denmark.

So I had to stick it out. I graduated with high grades with no special effort. For a while I felt like I had wasted not only my time at the boarding school which properly would mark me for life but also at the public school, because while I had shown my parents that I had turned my life around, I never had such a boring period of my life. My parents detached their relationship with me. It seems that if I minded my school and didn’t come home drunk beside Friday and Saturday, our relationship would settle with a quiet dinner and nothing more. We rarely had anything to talk about. I guess that they just were happy and on the move to another part in their lives. Detachment must be the right word for it. They had made their point for the last time. They were finished being parents.

However, a good thing entered my life at that point. Alcohol and other unhealthy food items got an increased tax put upon them during these years. I needed money to hang out with my friends and my parents would not finance anti-social behavior as some would call it. I started working because I had so much time left due to the limited school work. Together with some friends I started a paint shop where we worked as sub-contractors for larger firms painting rooms and walls. We didn’t pay taxes because when you are a sub-contractor to a sub-contractor or yet another sub-contractor, taxes and vat get lost in the system. It doesn’t matter if you have a cleaning job or other kind of manual job. At some point accountants service the firms to get sub-contractors hired hidden from the authorities.

The work has very much financed my time in school and while it has ended due to stricter regulation which I will write about later it had enlightened my life and enabled me to socialize with peers at school and made participation in school trips possible.

When my time in the public school was over I started in high school – In Danish called the Gymnasium. I am going to write something about that in the next chapter of my life.

The boarding school experience

11/03/2013

When I reached 7th grade my peers meant more than my family. We discussed what to do. I don’t know who brought the subject up about boarding school but it was decided that I should try one when I had passed 8th grade. I had my finest year in 8th grade. My teachers would properly not agree as I often left after spending 2/3 of the day in school.

My grades were good. I guess that I lived on talent rather than hard work. Today I know that talent only takes you so far. You have to focus on what is important: Earning money and making yourself priorities. The other day I witnessed a traffic accident. I was not the reason for it so I didn’t stop either. I drove on and did a good job at a client earning good money. Where did I learn to focus so hard on my needs rather than others? At the boarding school!

August 2008 I arrived at the school. I had not picked it. We were recommended that the school was rather relaxed. I was expecting a year off because the drinking on weekdays was beginning to make me tired every day. I didn’t expect what I found.

Every single day they start singing. We had to run or walk 3 kilometers. They had fixed times for meals. They had fixed times for home work. It was soon too much. Not even in my room I had some privacy because I shared it with some boy I never learned the full name of.

Cell phones were banned for the first 3 months but I had smuggled one in on campus, so I sneaked out during the night to phone home. When I phoned my parents and asked to retire from the school, they said no until I had signed a home contract.

These Bastards! They had lured me out of my home to another part of the country. I was hundreds of miles from my home. Even I ran I had to have some money before I could return home. I was stuck.

I was choked. Why did my parents suddenly hate me? I knew that the interference of our government had damaged the family dynamic but was I no longer a part of the family. Had they kicked me out for real?

I had reached my breaking point. Later when I was older and researched the Internet I learned that most parents’ sites recommend max. 14 days to check whether the students can adjust. If it takes longer it is better that the parents pull the child.

I signed the home contract and we were soon on our way home. But something had changed. The relationship has changed. I stopped trusting them for real. While I did keep my part of the home contract making better grades, we stopped being a family. I was more a renter.

Today I find myself haunted by my boarding school experience. I missed a vital part of my childhood. I had no words for the extent of isolation I experienced at the boarding school. I cannot describe the feeling of being abandoned and betrayed by my parents.

Those 21 days was the hardest thing I had done in my life. However they also meant that I stopped thinking of others and started to look out for myself. I drink alcohol but I no longer drink alcohol to be a part of a group. I drink alcohol so I can use the group for my goals. I have changed everything upside down.

I hope that this part of my story tells the transformation and development of my character this stay at the boarding school resulted in. I returned home and the next part will be about my time in high school.


My Experience At Mountain Homes Youth Ranch

This is about my life changing experience at the not so fun troubled youth camp, MHYR.

birthe1951

Birthe født i 1951 - om mit liv og mine holdninger

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.