The boarding school experience

11/03/2013

When I reached 7th grade my peers meant more than my family. We discussed what to do. I don’t know who brought the subject up about boarding school but it was decided that I should try one when I had passed 8th grade. I had my finest year in 8th grade. My teachers would properly not agree as I often left after spending 2/3 of the day in school.

My grades were good. I guess that I lived on talent rather than hard work. Today I know that talent only takes you so far. You have to focus on what is important: Earning money and making yourself priorities. The other day I witnessed a traffic accident. I was not the reason for it so I didn’t stop either. I drove on and did a good job at a client earning good money. Where did I learn to focus so hard on my needs rather than others? At the boarding school!

August 2008 I arrived at the school. I had not picked it. We were recommended that the school was rather relaxed. I was expecting a year off because the drinking on weekdays was beginning to make me tired every day. I didn’t expect what I found.

Every single day they start singing. We had to run or walk 3 kilometers. They had fixed times for meals. They had fixed times for home work. It was soon too much. Not even in my room I had some privacy because I shared it with some boy I never learned the full name of.

Cell phones were banned for the first 3 months but I had smuggled one in on campus, so I sneaked out during the night to phone home. When I phoned my parents and asked to retire from the school, they said no until I had signed a home contract.

These Bastards! They had lured me out of my home to another part of the country. I was hundreds of miles from my home. Even I ran I had to have some money before I could return home. I was stuck.

I was choked. Why did my parents suddenly hate me? I knew that the interference of our government had damaged the family dynamic but was I no longer a part of the family. Had they kicked me out for real?

I had reached my breaking point. Later when I was older and researched the Internet I learned that most parents’ sites recommend max. 14 days to check whether the students can adjust. If it takes longer it is better that the parents pull the child.

I signed the home contract and we were soon on our way home. But something had changed. The relationship has changed. I stopped trusting them for real. While I did keep my part of the home contract making better grades, we stopped being a family. I was more a renter.

Today I find myself haunted by my boarding school experience. I missed a vital part of my childhood. I had no words for the extent of isolation I experienced at the boarding school. I cannot describe the feeling of being abandoned and betrayed by my parents.

Those 21 days was the hardest thing I had done in my life. However they also meant that I stopped thinking of others and started to look out for myself. I drink alcohol but I no longer drink alcohol to be a part of a group. I drink alcohol so I can use the group for my goals. I have changed everything upside down.

I hope that this part of my story tells the transformation and development of my character this stay at the boarding school resulted in. I returned home and the next part will be about my time in high school.

Advertisements

Growing up in Aalborg

10/03/2013

I was born in the early 1990’s. When I was born the good days had been over for some years. I happened to be born around the time when the political scene was captured by socialists who didn’t want to distance themselves from the crimes the world did learn about having been done in the Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union.

It impacted much of my childhood. Our borders were wide open and crime started to rise here in Aalborg as result of the many cultures being mixed.

However I did have a happy childhood despite the Denmark being going through these dark years. I am an only child. My parents were doing odd jobs and their heritage is from the working class. They had some expectations for me. They wanted me to be the first boy in the family to graduate high school – a goal I expect to reach this summer.

Otherwise they just want me to be careful and find an easy life until retirement once my exam is on the book. But it is easier to say than being done because of the cuts among public servicemen. My goal was a paper job in the city administration not caring about what my job would be good for. I don’t really feel very much for anyone which I believe is a result of my stay at a boarding school.

My extended family consists of my father’s brother. He is a farmer north of the town. They run an entirely other life than we do. We are city people and because they live 30 kilometers away we see them once or twice per year due to the distance. My mother’s family live mostly on Zealand and it is so far away that it has been maybe 5 or 7 years since we visited them for a week. I don’t miss it. They cheat people and are in for fast money with quality in their jobs. It is not called “The Devil’s Island” for fun.

We as family have always kept us for ourselves and we bonded very fine as a family. When I entered the 6 grade I remember tasting my first beer. It was around that year the central government over in Copenhagen forbade youth under 15 to buy alcohol. My father was angry because I had been my task from when I was 10 years old to buy him 6 beers for the Saturday soccer games. Now the law distanced our relationship. Saturday was when I first learned to do chores and bond with my family in the only way a family should interact for the better good when the child does it chores voluntary. It was a sad time when it ended all because a government located far and being run by people living in a far distance from ordinary people.

Anyway when the Saturdays watching Television with my father while he was drinking beers and I was eating candy was over, I got new ideas for my weekends. I started to hang out with friends and some of them were older. They could buy beers legally and share them with us.

Slowly but steady I distanced myself from my family. Not by acting out but they were more servicing me than bonding with me as parents. That was when they cheated me and robbed my not only what was left of my childhood innocence making me the cynical person some of my classmates has told me I am, but also scared and bitter of what I missed out. All this is something you can read about in the next part of my life.


My Experience At Mountain Homes Youth Ranch

This is about my life changing experience at the not so fun troubled youth camp, MHYR.

birthe1951

Birthe født i 1951 - om mit liv og mine holdninger

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.